Violets are blue

Down in the dumps with this for consolation. Flowers never seemed to provide such comfort until now. 

Dunno

Different rooms

My paternal grandmother died today

Salivary gland cancer

In front of the family 

She peacefully passed away

Youngest brother said our father was strong 

Our uncle was resigned 

While he had consulted all his doctor classmates

Second brother was silent 

The caregiver was working hard to pump oxygen

My mother had the spunk to ask the doctors what would they do if they were in our shoes

Doctors said they would do nothing

I prayed that my family be spared from making a tough decision 

Voila the answer came at that instant that I was praying 

Coincidence

I do not think so 

To reach 95 I wonder how would that feel

But for now this has taught me about forgiveness and love for family

RIP Lola Nona

Be novel

If it ain't broke, break it, then build something better.

Jonathan Culver

At the last stop

I find myself crying after learning that my 96 year old grandmother is now in the hospital. Apparently, a small benign tumor transformed itself into something malignant and has spread to her lungs.

I cry not because of fond memories of which there were few. I cry because at the end of her days, she was not complaining of the pain because she did not want her son, my father to worry. I cry because of the attitude that money becomes more important than life that we tend to look at health issues as burdens. I cry because finally my mother is finding peace with her mother-in-law who she thinks deserves the best care now at this stage. And most of all I cry for not being at home, for not being able to help at all, for being useless, for wasting all opportunities, for not having realized earlier that the elderly deserved time and respect aside from love and care. 

Like the dutiful grandchild, I pray that it will be easy when it comes. For now, I thank God for giving me this chance to think.

Over and over

A recurring cycle no doubt this one of depression. Somehow, I can take the physical fatigue from watching a play, visiting Straford upon Avon and welcoming the year of the horse in one go. What made it harder is the emotional anguish of being not that good, of being socially  inept and hanging on to the last vestiges of a love that is supposed to be given up. Sadness engulfs me whenever I see that face. I feel powerless. I say no more tears but my ducts do not abide. I shall try again tomorrow.