Keep the Faith

I had the strangest dream today. There was a gathering of unfamiliar faces and I then played Bon Jovi music through a record player. I move to another room when suddenly out of nowhere Jon Bon Jovi is in front of me and talking to me. He says to me, "Compliance is the best job isn't it?" I wake up and open   Facebook. The first thing that pops out is a link to Jon Bon Jovi singing Hallelujah! 

Okay. Message received. Now to find out what it means. 

We will always have the tram

My cousin died today of an aneurysm at the age of 46. My last memory of her was being so full of life, having settled into domestic bliss with her husband and only son in Canada. She had gamely shown me around the San Francisco city centre, riding the tram, and walking around Union Square, Chinatown, and Pier 39.

Life is really more than fleeting. In a snap, it can be gone. As my mom said, one should always be prepared not for the final exam but for the surprise quiz. Here's to aiming for a distinction in either! 

Gone are the flowers

No matter how hard I tried, it refused to be saved. I was gutted. 

But there was still hope that it would revive. Would I ever be truly happy again?

Farewell

Happiness is perfecting my mom's version of the adobo.

A thousand deaths

The saddest words are those that say "it might have been."

How I wish the world could be more accepting. And maybe my life would have been different. A good different? I don't know. 

Only time can heal this great wound. I do hope it can still heal. 

Moonface

The weather does affect one's mood. Let the sunshine in! There is no substitute for a daily dose of happiness! 

Fuzzy thoughts lead me to missing my dog. I must have a proper home with furballs to keep me company. 

I look forward to being in the frontlines. 

Rot

Somebody told me recently that I should have stability in my life. I could somehow envision my parents in the background giving their assent.

It is strange to have everything and absolutely feel incomplete. I may have all these credentials but they are the things that don't matter. I feel like I have wasted my time to achieve all these, all the while pretending to be happy. 

I remember my childhood dream - to live in an isolated shack in a far off land with my pets and a magic cube. Just put a drop of water in the cube and say what you want and out it comes. Too bad it remains a childhood fantasy.

For now, I can still pretend. And maybe, something good can come out of it.