Crater

Old habits die hard. I wanted new ones. Could our facilitator who as it turns out came from my hometown help me? He thought I was an enigma - someone who turned out to be more considerate than courageous. He asked me if I was highly adaptable. I said yes. 

We were talking in the car and suddenly he mentioned something about his wife, that her drive was virtually nil. He also mentioned that he used to want to be a Romeo when he was young, more of a lovestruck boy who could never get the girl. And so he became the eternal friend who was a boy just to become close to the opposite sex. 

I finished juicing the vegetables. In the middle of it, I began thinking of integrity. Have I lost mine? I don't know what to do anymore. Or maybe I do. I just don't want to. 

WTF

And it hit me. Ang bida at kontrabida sa A Love to Last ay pinangalanang Andrea at Grace! How very nice! Lightened my mood. Maybe I should be villainous in real life. And kick my ass of a boss. I think I should let my dislike be apparent. Authenticity should be the ideal. I should be livid. 

A love to last

You spoke of me availing of opportunities abroad so that I can maximize my potential. You said that in 3 years you saw yourself retiring and having more time for me assuming I still wanted you. You would have been more free to do as you please and that meant you could visit me abroad. As I listened to you, all the more did I realize that you were actually setting me free without knowing it. My heart began to break into tiny bits. I pretended to like the idea. In my head, my intuition was correct. It was a love that led to nowhere. Was it a place I wanted to be? In its purest and basest form, I had never felt it like this way. But slowly it was being shown to me little by little. I knew I had to let go. I know not when.