Cup of life

It has been a series of highs and lows for me. I have been enjoying myself too much with extra curricular activities without attending to my scholarly duties. And then I receive news that all is not going well for three people I care about, so much so that one of them wants to disappear from the face of the earth. 

I can only pray for strength for them

and for me. I don't need nor want too much drama in my life. It reels me in, like an anchor cast into the sea, and makes me feel like I'm drowning. My faith restores the balance. And I have God to thank for that always.

How green is it

I cried so much today. I had not gotten the internship, which for me was my last chance to transition to a field I think I would prosper in. With that, I was again left to my own devices. Should I continue to work in a field I was not actually interested in just because of the high pay and prestigious title? The option of total abandonment strikes me as promising. 

I had been turned down before because I was old. I was mocked at because they made a mistake of having me interviewed for a practice area different from what I applied for. I was laughed at for attempting to apply for a role that was nowhere related to legal. And from my first interview for my law school admission, I had always been received with skepticism. 

Maybe I should have listened a long time ago to the inner voices. Law never loved me and I never loved it back. 

It is useless to pretend for the sake of fame and fortune. Unfortunately for me, it refuses to let me go. 

Walking on broken glass

Tired feet. Fatigued mind. Restless heart. I needed time to find myself. I needed time to pursue my true vocation. It starts now, during this spring of discontent. It's all in the mind. I should be grateful because life has been good even if I haven't been getting what I wanted. There is always a reason. God knows best.