Stabbed in the back

Hearing the words "he might be gay" made me sad. How can it be? Or maybe the signs were there and I just ignored it.

My life wasn't normal - from a hookup to dating a guy who is now gay to having a relationship with another who might be gay and onto being with her. I have had enough of being unconventional. 

It's time to be normal. 

The Battle of Wills

It was a two week jaunt that left me with mixed feelings. There are indeed some things which are indicators of good character and temperament. Sadly, for some of my friends, they are left wanting in that department. Still, I persist in maintaining the relationship as it somehow makes me realize what I shouldn't turn out to be. Let's see how long I can endure. There must be some redeeming value to it. Or maybe, I can keep it at a safe distance. 

Cat from Siam

It saddened me to hear that our cat, Sirikit, died today. I had given her that name because she looked like a Siamese cat. What depressed me more was the fact that I wasn't that close to our pets anymore since I rarely went home. They seemed to be wary of me. 

But what angered me really in this instance was she might have been a victim of animal cruelty. I just hope karma bites whoever did this to her.

Mental note: build a home with pets that you will love and cherish.

Still hoping

Looking at the pictures made me depressed again. It was difficult to grasp the enormity of what I had done. 9 months into a new life and I kept looking back, kept revisiting, kept crying. I am so tired. I could not even tell anyone how horrible I felt. But no matter. The pressure to look for good work now hounds me. The reality sinks in. I am hoping against hope. I only have one chance.