Still hoping

Looking at the pictures made me depressed again. It was difficult to grasp the enormity of what I had done. 9 months into a new life and I kept looking back, kept revisiting, kept crying. I am so tired. I could not even tell anyone how horrible I felt. But no matter. The pressure to look for good work now hounds me. The reality sinks in. I am hoping against hope. I only have one chance.