Soothing

Awakened

It was exhilarating and scary at the same time. I still could not believe I was able to drive all the way to Sta. Lucia and back to Robinson's Magnolia with a few mishaps in between. Something inside me stirred. It was a test of my limits. I somehow felt powerful. The horizon was limitless. If only. Time will tell. 

Floating

Isn't it sad. I am 43. A recent victim of unrequited love. But now tied to a person who is everything that I hoped for except for the fact that he is married. I have cysts in my breasts that continue to multiply. I have a myoma in my uterus. I have gained 10 pounds in the last year. My face has started to break out again. Most of my clothes don't fit. I frequently am in tears recently for various reasons. I experienced separation anxiety leaving my last job. I met up with them last week and realized I was no longer part of their world. I am not really into my new role. It's more for paying the bills. I have never found work that fulfilled me. I continue to float. My heart hurts like hell and no one can hear it. 

2 years hence

Two years ago I met the person that would be my equivalent of unrequited love. A lot has happened since. The pain was unbearable. But I somehow managed to survive. And carry on. I was able to find a new love, one that seems to be testing the limits. I ask God when can He give me a break. Because I am so afraid that this last one will really destroy whatever is left of my sanity. Lord, I hope you can hear me. 

Long trip

Fate is building a bridge of chance for your love. - Korean film on the bus

Family matters

I could feel your disappointment towards your family. The pain was excruciating. But what could I say to relieve you of the hurt? Who was I to advise you on this matter? I was a nobody wanting to figure in your life. If I was a decent person, I would have stayed away from you. But I wanted to help you. I simply don't know how. 

Strong enough

You started by asking me to sit down because you wanted to tell me something. I was apprehensive. And then the opening line came - I was a strong person. I was aggressive in character. I was a pillar of strength for my family and friends. I was thinking where was this going. Was he going to break up with me? He then said I want to make you happy. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one strong for you if you will let me. I love you!

It was his affirmation of his love. And I stole the thunder by misinterpreting it! What a dunce! But I just had to hug and kiss him because no one has ever told me that in that manner. He said what triggered it was the article I sent on being a wild, strong woman. 

He was strong enough to be my man. I had asked for a sign and this was the answer. This was no April Fools. It was the real thing.