The right love at the wrong time

I had not gone to Del for a long time. I had associated it with false hopes. This time she laid out that my life was about to turn around. I was leaving for Makati or Europe. I had to choose. I could not tell my mother the true story - that you were in a sham marriage, your wife was bossy and unfaithful, you loved your kids too much not to tell me the truth, that you were thinking of an annulment but you did not want to destroy your family and its reputation. I could not tell her how much it was true that you loved me so much. It was a love that would be going nowhere for the timing was not right. It hurt to hear those words. I wanted to look forward to a future with you but it seems to be wishful thinking. Sadness and pain engulf me. I am anguished beyond words. I wonder if life will ever make you happy again once I am gone.