Perfect illusion

I could feel the ache building up. You told me that it may be that I might meet someone during my travels and there was nothing you could do about it. I had wanted you to say that we had a future and you will try your best to achieve one for us. I didn’t want to let go. But in time, may be I have to give up this illusion. You are perfect for me and I for you. Or so we thought. Our circles converged to give us both a chance for love and redemption. Sadly, it was going to be taken away. And I could do nothing.

Writing on the wall again

It was both bad news and good news. After saying that I was their first choice, the company opted to hire someone cheaper since they found me too expensive. They then offered an alternative role in Bangkok. I could not believe what I was hearing. I felt sad because I could see the writing on thw wall. God wanted us to be apart. And nomatter how much i prayed, nothing could change the truth - that we could never be together. I felt so downtrodden that I did not do anything productive for the day and just lay in bed. You reiterated that you were willing to sacrifice for my career. Unbeknownst to you, I already had. I have been praying for a graceful exit. Was this the answer? Will I ever be truly happy again?

Lost hope

I never knew how much it hurt until now. Again. For the nth time. I had already felt betrayed last February 2017. Now it stings. Being told it can never be. Or being told you may never have children. It was a foregone conclusion that smacked me and made me lose any joy carried over from the holidays. I was tired of hoping. This was far more important than work. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth. I want it to stop. I am lost.