Lost hope

I never knew how much it hurt until now. Again. For the nth time. I had already felt betrayed last February 2017. Now it stings. Being told it can never be. Or being told you may never have children. It was a foregone conclusion that smacked me and made me lose any joy carried over from the holidays. I was tired of hoping. This was far more important than work. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth. I want it to stop. I am lost.