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April 24. A day of significance. 3 years ago I met you. And because of you, I broke up with a love that was on the throes of ending. Who would have thought that it took 2 years for me to accept that it was not meant to be. There never was an us. It hurt so much that I had to find a refuge. And so I found him. He who was married and had two grown up kids. He who had the name but downplayed it. He who was kind but ended up being bitter and depressed, resorting to the drink to escape it all. Just last night he confessed that I had actually saved him. He had wanted to end it all until I came into the picture. I rejuvenated him, reenergized him. He said he still cared for her. And of course loved his kids. But he had a new lease on life. What he did not realize that I in turn was grasping at straws. Though I had learned how it was to love unconditionally and without judgment, I yearned for the traditional, a family of my own. Convention would have looked at us harshly. My mother to whom I had brought a lot of pain previously would definitely feel hurt. No matter how much I loved you, I know in my heart I have to give you up. Maybe the world will be kinder to me this time. Maybe the Lord will show me mercy. Maybe, just maybe.